I originally posted this on my previous blog, but I wanted to share it here, in my blog home.
There is so much I could write about when it comes to being a mom. And there is a lot I want to share, but I think I’ll start here, with the day I became a mom. I wrote this 10 months after Will was born. I have learned and changed so much since then, but that day will always be the day that I became a mother.
Welcome to the world, William Thomas
It all started on a Tuesday night. DH and I had eaten at Red Lobster, knowing that might not happen again for a while, and then gone to the mall to walk. It was the day before my due date and I was ready to have this baby already! As we were walking I started having contractions. I decided that if I was still having them by the time we got home (20 min drive) I would time them just to see where they were. They were very irregular, but didn’t stop. I tried to get some sleep, but just couldn’t.
At 6am the next morning, we went to L&D. They checked me and I was only a 1-2. We went and walked for an hour and they checked me again. I was now a 2. They hooked me up to all the monitors and what not for a while, waited to see if I had progressed, checked me again and I was a 2-3. We went and walked for another hour; when I came back I was still only at a 3. Now my OB was on vacation when I went into labor so I got the pleasure of dealing with the on call OB who had sausages for fingers (the exam was NOT pleasant!). He was talking like he might send me home, but if I got pain meds and allowed him to break my water to try to speed things up, then I could stay. So I went for the epidural.
I finally got admitted to an actual L&D room (the triage rooms were TINY!) and things got underway. Now I forgot to mention that when I was only at a 3 and the OB was talking about sending me home, my contractions were then 3 min apart and I was having intense back labor that took me by surprise.
I got the epi…I only had 3 solid hours of relief. I started to feel the contractions on my right side. They told me to push the boost that was hooked up to my epi machine – that didn’t help at all. They actually had to get someone to come and give me more meds – this had to be done a total of 3 times before everything was done and over with.
The OB came in and broke my water while checking me after I had gotten my epi. And then I got my catheter – that’s something I never want to do again…I won’t go into graphic details, but the nurse had a hard time with it. I was numb from the epi, so it didn’t hurt, it was just umcomfortable.
Throughout the rest of the day I chewed on ice chips, sucked on popsicles and had to breathe through the contractions that I could feel from my epi wearing off. I never thought this baby was going to come out!
I FINALLY got to 10 cm and started pushing around 10:30. Things start to get a litttle foggy here for me. I know I was put flat on my back for some reason, I had an oxygen mask put at me a one point (which I kept trying to take off, but was told to put back on), and I threw up twice. I also remember the nurse yelling at me to push. I felt the need to scream while pushing – that was one of the things helping me, and I was told I had to stop pushing and HAD to hold my breath. The epi was somewhat still working so I couldn’t really tell how efficient my pushes were. I pushed for 2 hours and was exhausted by the time Will made his debut. While finally pushing his body out, I was yelled at by the OB to stop pushing after I got his head out, she didn’t tell me why, she just yelled at me to stop. (I should mention that this is a different OB than from earlier in the story – this was a woman who was only with me for about 5 min before I pushed Will out and I had never met her before!) It turns out the cord was wrapped around his neck. He finally arrived at 12:20am Thursday morning.
I remember the brief moment they showed Will to me before wisking him away to the warming table and thinking omg, our lives just changed forever.
I ripped pretty bad (don’t know to what degree) – all I know is that I ripped up both sides on the inside and one side on the outside. I felt like she was down there stitching me up forever! During that I was actually grateful that the epi was still somewhat working.
After getting stitched up, I finally got to hold my boy! He nursed for a few min before being taken to the nursery for his first bath (daddy went with him).
I have to say, my story is horrific or terrifying, but looking back on it now, it’s definitely not the experience I want to have the second time around. I now know that the interventions that took place are probably what cause my long labor and very long pushing stages. I don’t regret anything, but I am making an effort to be more educated for our second one (whenever that is) so that I can make the best decision for me and my child. I just kinda went with the flow b/c I thought “Doctor knows best!”, but I now know that’s not always the case!